In My Deepest January

In my deepest January, the cold winds spoke,

Of years that passed, of hearts that broke.

Two decades long, a heavy tide,

A journey walked with pain as guide.

Once, anger burned where love had been,

A storm of questions deep within.

But time, so patient, carved a way,

Through endless nights to light of day.

I could have let the darkness win,

Let bitterness take root within.

Yet here I stand, unchained, unbowed,

A soul at peace, my heart unclouded.

No thirst for vengeance, no rage remains,

Only the grace that soothed my pains.

I found my strength, I learned to rise,

To see the world with softer eyes.

Blessed am I, for love endured,

For wounds have healed, for faith matured.

Injustice came, but did not stay --

It lost its power along the way.

In my deepest January, I stand so free,

Grateful for all that life gave me.

Not bound by loss, nor weighed by scars,

But thriving still, beneath the stars.

Poetry Prompt: 

Sherry's prompt "In Your Deepest January" at What's Going On?

A pocketful of sunshine and 

Finding Peace in Your Soul

In our fast-paced, ever-demanding world, finding peace within ourselves is often easier said than done. Yet, soul-deep peace is essential for true well-being and resilience. It’s more than a fleeting moment of calm; it’s a state of acceptance, a balance between what we’ve endured and where we are headed.

The journey to inner peace often begins with letting go—of expectations, regrets, and past hurts. It’s about accepting the things we cannot change and releasing the weight of past events that no longer serve us. This doesn’t mean forgetting; it means finding strength in what we’ve survived and recognizing that every challenge has shaped us.

Embracing the present is the next step. When we’re constantly thinking about what has been or what could be, we miss out on what is. Peace is rooted in this moment—the breath we take, the beauty we notice, the gratitude we feel. It’s in the small, simple joys that life offers every day.

Finally, trusting that things happen for a reason allows us to rest in a sense of purpose, even when things don’t make sense immediately. Peace isn’t the absence of pain or struggle; it’s the quiet assurance that, whatever comes, we have the strength to face it.

True peace is a journey, a choice we make daily. It’s a gift we give to ourselves and, ultimately, to those around us. Embrace the journey, find your peace, and let it shine through every part of your life.

A pocketful of sunshine and 

Moving Forward

Learning resilience and forgiveness after facing injustice and tragedy can feel like an overwhelming journey. 

Resilience comes from enduring hardships, finding ways to rebuild, and drawing strength from the pain. It’s not just about surviving but also adapting, growing, and finding hope again despite the emotional scars.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, can be even more challenging. It doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the wrong done. Instead, it’s about releasing the hold that bitterness and anger can have over your heart. It’s a step toward healing, allowing you to regain control over your emotional well-being.

Both resilience and forgiveness require time, self-reflection, and a commitment to growth. Embracing them allows you to move forward without letting the tragedy define your future.

A pocketful of sunshine and 

Related post:

Leap Of Faith (A Haiku Collection)

 taking that big step

blindly towards the unknown

that's a leap of faith

an embattled soul

down a winding path of grief

tenacious spirit

if you ask me how

i got to where i am now

prayers led me here

 let go of your pain
healing will not come easy

learn to forgive first

© Bing (PinkLady) 2010

  "Faith is being sure of what we hope for 

and certain of what we do not see."
-Hebrews 11:1

Posted for Haiku Heights and
The Thursday Think Tank #27- Forgiveness

Image credit: Link, Link 

Have I Forgiven This Man?

Have I really learned to forgive?

I thought I have

But today I came face to face

With one of the men

Who caused us our grief

Five years ago...

When he walked into the room

I knew right away that

This was the moment 

I've long waited for

Here he was on a table next to ours

At a party hosted by James' cousin...

The man who caused our grief

In the same room with me

My mind raced, my heart skipped a beat

I searched my soul for answers

A lump formed in my throat

Have I really forgiven this man?

have i really forgiven this man?

Cate of Show My Face hosts this wonderful meme.

I Don't Want To Stay Angry

The truth is that, I DON'T WANT TO STAY ANGRY. I am done with hatred and bitterness in my life. The best way to deal with it is to confront what or who causes me pain. So that's exactly what I did a few minutes ago. It is indeed liberating to be able to release the burden of anger.

These quotes helped me cool down and stay objective. They reminded me of what forgiving is all about.

It always helps to confront one's anger and deal with it face to face. It also gives the other person or persons the chance to air his/her/their side. At the very least, I was able to convey the message that I won't take lightly any injustice- perceived or real- against my kids.

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. But in forgiving, one does not have to compromise his principles. He may not be able to change the past but he can do something about the future by taking a stand.

The door has been opened for a dialogue. I welcome that.

Blessings to all,

A Divine Promise

"Hear that uproar from the city,
hear that noise from the temple!
It is the sound of the Lord
repaying His enemies all they deserve."
Isaiah 66:6

Cold blooded murders... Abductions and unexplained disappearances (men ending up as "desaparecidos")... Hooded armed men... Motorcycle-riding gunmen... Brutal rape and slaying of innocent women and children... Vicious killings and kidnappings by terrorist groups in the guise of rebellion, political cleansing and ideological struggle... Wayward youth whose lives have been destroyed by drugs... Statistics are rising fast at the expense of hapless families.

This is the only place in the world where "salvage" is more known to refer to summary killings instead of its legal meaning of saving a vessel, goods or life from the perils of the sea.

"Collateral Damage" was the title of the movie that James and I enjoyed watching in the past. A few years later, collateral damage was attached to his name, now a "desaparecido" (one who has disappeared) himself. I guess one will never know the depth of such pain unless you have experienced grave injustice yourself.

I have been asked too many times how I have learned to forgive. The answer lies in the promise that my GOD gave me one early morning four years ago... a promise that was conveyed to me in an unequivocal manner...

"Truth is nowhere to be found,
and whoever shuns evil becomes a prey.
The Lord looked and was displeased that there was no justice.

He saw that there was no one,
He was appalled that there was no one to intervene; so His own arm worked salvation for Him, and His own righteousness sustained Him.

He put on righteousness as His breastplate, and the helmet of salvation on His head;
He put on the garments of vengeance and wrapped himself in zeal as in a cloak.

According to what they have done, so will He repay wrath to His enemies and retribution to His foes; He will repay the islands their due."

Isaiah 59:15-18

Since then, I have totally surrendered all anger, bitterness, vindictiveness and hatred in my heart. Forgiveness came easy by accepting that vengeance, which does not truly lie in my hands, had been promised.

Today, this promise was reiterated in God's own words...

"For the day of vengeance was in my heart,
and the year of my redemption has come.
I looked, but there was no one to help,
I was appalled that no one gave support;
so my own arm worked salvation for me and
my own wrath sustained me.
I trampled the nations in anger;
in my wrath I made them drunk and
poured their blood on the ground."
Isaiah 63:4-6

He validated it through the story of King Solomon (1 Kings) and demonstrated how He met all His covenants to His people.

The message remains:

He fulfills all His promises.

Here's wishing you all a blessed and meaningful Good Friday!




Blessings to all,

POSTSCRIPT:

I will be taking that long overdue break next week.
I will be back by the end of April in time for the acknowledgment of my top droppers.
I hope you will continue to drop your ECs in my absence. :-)

A Season's End

"There are times where you or that person has changed

to the extent that it's necessary to let go of the friendship,
so that each of you can fulfill your life path."

People in our lives come and go. There are good reasons why some friends, with whom we shared a substantial part of our being, are no longer in our lives now. We must learn to accept that much of living is all about moving on.

When you have formed an attachment to people, it is quite painful to realize that it is time to let go. This poem, which I first came across in an email, explains why there are those who get to stay in our lives and why some people don't.

Reason, Season or a Lifetime

When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person...

When someone is in your life for a REASON. . .
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are!
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part,
or at an inconvenient time, this person will say
or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered.
And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON....
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons:
things you must build upon in order to have
a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but
friendship is clairvoyant.

How much of this poem, can you relate to?

On my part, a season has just ended. I am letting go and moving on. Thank you for everything.






Blessings to all,

Chinese New Year's Eve and James' 4th Year of Disappearance

This year, the Chinese Lunar New Year falls on January 26th.

Today, the 25th, is James' 4th year of disappearance. It is also Chinese New Year's Eve. My kids and I will be joining his brothers and their families (the in-laws) to welcome the Year of the Ox the traditional way. That would be dinner and some rituals to:

1. honor and remember the departed family members and ancestors
2. usher in good luck and prosperity into the family

Today, my son also asked me who is responsible for his dad's disappearance. I know the answer but I refrained from giving him a definite one. He asked if his dad is really dead, I said Yes. :( Is there any other way of telling a 14-year-old boy? He has asked me this perhaps a hundred times already.

When he gave me a disappointed look, I told him to accept the truth- his dad is not coming back. I assured him that I feel much better now after learning to forgive the people who have caused us pain... that he would feel the same way if he starts forgiving as well. He nodded. He shrugged his shoulders. And went on to play an internet game on his laptop.

May all of you be blessed with great fortune, good health,
love and laughter in the Year of the Earth Ox.
Happy New Year to everyone!

Blessings to all,