The Healing Embrace

 

When words feel sharp, and hearts feel torn,

A hug can mend what speech has worn.

No need for wisdom, no need for sound,

Just arms that wrap and love profound.

For in that touch, a soul can heal,

A quiet proof of care that’s real.

So save the lecture, let it wait—

A hug can open healing’s gate.

⚖️⚖️⚖️

In times of struggle, what people often need most is not advice but connection and understanding. Offering a lecture to someone who is hurting can come across as dismissive or even judgmental, unintentionally deepening their pain. A hug, however, conveys warmth, empathy, and unconditional support, often saying more than words ever could. It reminds them they’re not alone and that their emotions are valid. While advice has its place, it’s the power of human connection—expressed through a simple embrace—that can truly comfort and heal in moments of vulnerability.

A pocketful of sunshine and 

Moving Forward

Learning resilience and forgiveness after facing injustice and tragedy can feel like an overwhelming journey. 

Resilience comes from enduring hardships, finding ways to rebuild, and drawing strength from the pain. It’s not just about surviving but also adapting, growing, and finding hope again despite the emotional scars.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, can be even more challenging. It doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the wrong done. Instead, it’s about releasing the hold that bitterness and anger can have over your heart. It’s a step toward healing, allowing you to regain control over your emotional well-being.

Both resilience and forgiveness require time, self-reflection, and a commitment to growth. Embracing them allows you to move forward without letting the tragedy define your future.

A pocketful of sunshine and 

Related post:

Bali’s Mystique

In an assiduous attempt to survive

Each single day of existence

We tend to forget we owe ourselves

A break once in a while

Until that headache persists

And vertigo sets in

As if to remind us that our brain 

Needs some breathing space too.

And so I was persuaded

By well-meaning girl friends

To go on hiatus in a faraway land

Away from it all, they said

On a journey with no expectations

Expedition of unfamiliar enclave

I closed my eyes and 

Started building castles in the air.

As soon as we landed

A sense of euphoria embraced us

Finally away from it all as promised

No deadline to beat nor

Persistent phone calls to answer

As if magic descended upon us

And the universe contrived to hide us

In this enchanted island called Bali.

One can’t help but admire Bali's

Mystical centuries-old temples on cliffs

And on water in the highlands

Mischievous monkeys standing guard

Ornate designs of wooden doors and trusses 

And of gods and idols made of stone

The alluring landscapes of terraced rice paddies

Serenity calms the mind as one absorbs the beauty of Bali. 

The roaring sound of waves filled the air

As we hiked steep rocky heights

Torrent pummeled the earth below us

As the sun set magnificently

In a horizon of glowing colors

Of red, yellow and orange

Nature’s splendid display is eternally

At its finest on this hemisphere.

© Bing Yap [PinkLady] 2014

An exciting part of the trip was our rendezvous with the famous Ketut Liyer, medicine man of Bali who appeared in the movie “Eat Pray Love” with Julia Roberts.

A pocketful of sunshine and 

Posted for Poetry Pantry #187.

Sunshine In My Heart

Despite the little setbacks and heartaches here and there, I wake up each day feeling refreshed and happy knowing that there are more people out there who love me than those who show callous indifference.

Each morning, I wake up to the sound of my kids' busy banters as they prepare for another day in school. I don't even have to bother waking them up. They need no prodding to do what they have to do.

I have my parents who, despite their frail health and other serious concerns, never fail to check on me and my kids. I guess in their eyes I never stopped being their little girl.

I should not forget my bro ('tol) and sis (li'l sis) who, despite the distance between us, have remained close to me. Waking up to their messages in my inbox or cellphone saying "Sis, what do the kids need?" or "Sis, musta na?" ("how are you doing?") always warm my heart.

I have a job that people dream of (if only for the glamor of it) - in a workplace where each one is treated like family .

I have friends (the BFFs) who have stayed with me through thick and thin, rain or shine, come hell or high water. Isn't it amazing that, instead of drifting apart, we (including husbands and kids now) were able to create a much stronger bond through all those 20 years of friendship?

And yes, after a big storm in my life, the sun found its way back and is finally here to stay. Little did I know back then that sunshine would warm my soul again.

Counting my blessings helps me get through the day. And each time I start to worry, I close my eyes and claim HIS promise:

"Therefore I tell you,

do not worry about your life,

what you will eat or drink;

or about your body,

what you will wear.

Is not life more important than clothes?

Look at the birds of the air;

they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,

and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

Are you not much more valuable than they?

Who of you by worrying

can add a single hour to his life?"

Matthew 6:25-27

The bumps in the road just make the ride more fun. Always remember that what won't kill you will only make you stronger.

A pocketful of sunshine to everyone!

Blessings to all,

A Powerful Prayer That Was Meant To Be Shared

"My soul is overwhelmed with
sorrow to the point of death."

It all begins with a question. It all begins with an unquenchable thirst, an insatiable hunger. You begin to feel that there is something more than what meets the eye. You want to know. You want to find out.

You start asking: "What is the meaning of my life?" "What am I here for?" "Why am I doing this?"

My own journey began when I was fresh out of college. At a time when I had everything, I was so discontented. My heart yearned for more and yet, I had no idea at all what I was looking for.

Let me explain something here. I was never really religious although I made every effort to be a good Christian. I can't even recite an entire verse from the Bible until now like some people do. Although I was raised a Catholic and spent 10 years of my life in an exclusive Catholic school ran by nuns, I associated Bible reading with grueling graded recitations, quizzes and exams on Religion and Christian Living.

When I began having a recurring nightmare- where I would feel I was floating on air and saw my sleeping body right below me which always freaked me out, of course- my Mom placed a Bible and a rosary on my bedside.

There I was, in my early 20's and feeling so lost, opening the Bible again and discovering for the first time that some of my feelings of inadequacy were alleviated by short verses and passages. Soon after, I began keeping a journal of verses that struck me and wrote my own reflections on them. It was a difficult period in my life. The confusion overwhelmed me. But I still had no idea where it was coming from. I was desperate to take control of my life and my mind again.

It was in one of those nights that I was led to this prayer. I opened the Bible and there it was in front of me. When I read it, I felt a twitch in my heart. I knew it was meant for me. I read it over and over again until I memorized every single word by heart. It goes like this:

"My Father, if it is possible,
may this cup be taken from me.
Yet not as I will,
but as YOU will."
Matthew 26:39, NIV

This was the prayer that Jesus recited in the Garden of Gethsemane (the Mount of Olives) on the night that he was betrayed. He was downcast and troubled and admitted to his disciples that: "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death."

He then went on to pray a second time:

"My Father, if it is not possible
for this cup to be taken away
UNLESS I drink it,
may Your will be done."

I wish I can enumerate to you all the miracles that this prayer has done for me. When James went missing, I suffered from severe post traumatic stress disorder (ptsd) but could not take any of my medicines (anti-depressants and sleeping pills) because I had to stay up and alert all the time. Every time those debilitating panic attacks, flashbacks and nightmares came, every time a "voice" popped up telling me to end it all-- I paused for a moment to say this prayer until I calmed down. When my Dad had a stroke and was given a slim chance to survive before Christmas in 2007, I held his hand and quietly repeated the same prayer out of desperation. My Dad survived and continues to be a source of strength and inspiration for me and my kids.

They say that nothing happens by accident. This prayer may have seemed so plain and simple when I first came across it. Never in my wildest dream did I imagine that it would someday save my life and my sanity (that's almost two decades later).

I kept this to myself for far too long. Not that this was a secret. But I really never felt the urge to share it with anyone else until I came across Angela of Here and Now~*~4Angel~*~. That's when I realized that there are more people out there who are in a darker place than I was before.

I am no hypocrite. I don't aspire to be a preacher or a church leader (I have great respect and admiration for these people who give so much of themselves to others). I must admit I still don't go to church as often as I should. Heck, I don't even remember when was the last time I went. I don't open the Bible everyday and I have not written on my journal for ages. But I know now that this prayer should not stay with me. This was meant to be shared. I guess my blog is no coincidence after all.

You don't have to be a Catholic, Protestant or Christian to say this prayer. You can change some words, if you must, to suit your own personal belief. But believe in its power to change your life. I am not saying that this is a cure-all or overnight remedy to your woes. It won't resurrect the dead or bring you the impossible. It did not bring back James to us. Neither did it change the circumstances of my life.

However, it DID give me calmness in the midst of chaos, clarity amidst great confusion, gratitude despite of emptiness, relief from a deep searing pain, a forgiving heart in the face of injustice.

This is a prayer for you-- for acceptance, for calmness, for healing, for peace within yourself. It is an armor against your greatest fears and sorrows. Remember, if it worked for Jesus then it must also work for all of us. Again, this is for ACCEPTANCE, HEALING and PEACE within you. Say it like a mantra. Say it over and over again. And mean it from the bottom of your heart. What have you got to lose anyway?


Blessings to all,

The Road to Recovery

"In the end, we stop asking why something has happened... but start asking how we will respond. What we intend to do now that it has happened."
- When Bad Things Happen To Good People by Harold Kushner -

For 11 years, I expected that I would be growing old with James. I was contented with the thought of a shared life together and a shared future. All of that suddenly changed one morning. Everything had been spoiled.

Whether I liked it or not, a core of my old identity was lost. Fortunately, I was left with something else: a chance to grow. My favorite line then every time someone asked how I was coping was: "Don't worry, I'm sure I will survive." Along the way, I learned that growing and thriving are more than just surviving.

In a sense, each loss is a pregnant pause in the process of personal growth. Just as time provides a resource, loss also presents a window of opportunity. Believe me, it was not easy for me to clear off that window and peer through the haze. What proved to be the ultimate challenge was to pass courageously through the familiar framework and into the unknown. But I knew I had to do it because it was the only way I could discover a path to recovery... a passage forward into life.

After overcoming denial, anger and active grieving, I jumped right into action and accepted all invitations and nominations for positions in various civic groups and foundations that I was a member of. I was president of this, vice president of that and a director of whatever. I led a committee for a convention which proved to be the most arduous and controversial task. The busier I got, the better. People talked, I didn't care.

Change was the challenge ahead. I restored my vitality with the thrill of doing things alone for the first time. A new intact identity gradually emerged- someone who was stronger, wiser and perhaps even nicer than the one I reluctantly left behind.

Moreover, I began to sleep better, think clearer, cry less and smile more. I gained greater control of my emotions and was not easily overwhelmed by them anymore. I became less obsessed with my loss and could talk about it more easily (as I am doing now). I felt freer to choose when and how to grieve and to bounce back. I became less preoccupied with myself and more patient with everyone, including myself.

The waves of pain no longer come as often as before and they don't knock me over easily anymore. I think less of the past and find myself reaching forward to the future less fearfully.

And as I drink in the cup of healing, let me take this opportunity to give a toast of thanks to those who helped me along the way.



Blessings to all,

Moving Thoughtfully Through Time

"We live by losing and leaving and letting go. And sooner or later, with more or less pain, we all must come to know that loss is indeed a lifelong human condition."
- Judith Viorst -

We are all familiar with loss- for loss is fundamental to life. Built into nature, it confronts us everyday. Blossoms fade. One season claims another even as the tide erodes the shore. Loss is part of that ebb and flow, part of the natural cycle of growth and decay.

I can't count the nights when I have been roused from a fitful sleep, my restless mind racing. "Why me? Why him? Why now? Why did I deserve this?" Losing James brought me face-to-face with my greatest fear.

It took quite sometime for me to accept the fact that every loss is a challenge to grow... yet growth requires change which is often painful.

Deciding to heal doesn't mean giving up on my dreams or the memories. It does mean deciding NOT to give up on myself and on my future (as well as that of my kids').

The first step may have been difficult. The destination may have been unclear. But that first step carried me forward on my journey of renewal.

Seasons can't be rushed. Neither can the process of healing one's heart. I found my way at my own pace.

Much love,

New Look For My Living Room

If there is one room in this house where James loved to spend most of his time, it was our living room. Never mind if we both dreamed of owning a Victorian type of sofa, the old rattan couch was his haven. I guess that was the reason why the dream never materialized. He simply hated the idea of discarding his favorite couch.

And perhaps that was also the reason why it took me 4 years to decide to finally give my living room a new look. The new set arrived today. I know this modern look is a far cry from his dream Victorian pieces.

But then, this is now MY choice, not his. This is now a true reflection of my taste. Very simple yet elegant. And comfortable. I can stretch out my feet on this comfy set after a hard day's work.

I am truly free.

Forgive and Move On

All of us have experienced pain one way or the other... the kind of hurt or harm that will leave us depressed, angry, bitter and vindictive. And when we start dwelling on them, replaying them over and over again in our minds, they can grow bigger and more powerful. Before we know it, grudges filled with resentment and hostility start taking over our lives.

Why do we have to forgive? Because our lives may be so wrapped up in the wrong that we can no longer enjoy the present. When we hold on to pain, we may bring our anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience in our lives, not to mention the long term health problems they may cause. And we may overlook each and every opportunity of happiness that comes our way. In the end, you will pay most dearly for all your grudges and resentment.

But then, forgiving is not the same as forgetting what happened to you. That will always remain a part of your life... a life lesson. That doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you. Neither does it minimize or justify the wrong. You forgive the person, not the act.

By learning to forgive, you can start focusing on and enjoying the positive areas of your life. By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace, joy, hope and gratitude.

Look, life is short (as we all know by now). You either spend the rest of your life being happy or planning out a way to seek revenge. It's your choice...