Of Loss and Regrets… and Getting Through...

“I do not know anymore…” 

This was not a line from Janet Napoles during the Senate Hearing for PDAF Scam but from a colleague/very close friend of mine who is grieving the sudden and unexpected loss of his wife. 42 years of marriage and suddenly he is alone. 

“I should have been kinder…” 

“I should have treated her better…” 

But then, looking back now I cannot imagine what “kinder” and “better” could he have done considering that he was such a kind, devoted, loving companion to his then-frail wife.

Of course, I know where he’s coming from. There will always be regrets. There will always be words that were left unsaid and intentions that were left undone. We can never have enough time to show enough love. 

How do you make the most of your time with your loved ones? How do you make each moment count? I wish I have the answers for him. But after 9 years of coping with my own loss, the same “regrets” still haunt me… 

“I should have…” 

“I could have…”

“Why didn’t I…???"

As I have painfully learned in my own journey, one never gets over grief. You just learn to get through it…

A pocketful of sunshine and 

Image credit: www.memorialize.com

A Day at Golgotha

Image credit: drkundead, The Cemetery Scene

terrene redolent

of lilies, burning incense...

city of the dead

memorial vignettes

atop immaculate crypts...

tribute to forebears

wicked truth pondered...

the day i take my last sleep

where will i wake up...

what of my days and

follies will be most recalled
perhaps with a smile...

© Bing Yap [PinkLady] 2012

All Rights Reserved

"Undas" is traditionally celebrated in the Philippines every 1st  (All Saints' Day) and 2nd (All Souls' Day) days of November. It is that time of the year when most Filipinos congregate at the cemeteries to honor their departed loved ones by visiting the graves of deceased relatives, offering prayers and colorful bouquets, lighting candles and incense (for the Filipino-Chinese). 

Often, the occasion becomes a reunion of sorts where a banquet is shared around the graves and children have fun making wax balls out of melted candles. Both days are official state-recognized holidays in the country.

Linked to Sensational Haiku Wednesday, Poets United: Wonder Wednesday , JP @ Olive Garden Poetry Picnic Week 39 
and  Hyde's Park Thursday Poets Rally Week 76

The Man In The Mirror Tried To Heal The World

"I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could
Have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and
Then make a change..."

ED BRADLEY: Michael, what would you say to you — your fans, who have supported you through all of this, and — and who today, some of them might have questions? What would you say to them?

MICHAEL JACKSON: Well, I would tell them I love them very much. And I— I— they've learned about me, and know about me from a distance. But if you really want to know about me, there's a song I wrote, which is the most honest song I've ever written. It's the most autobiographical song I've ever written. It's called, "Childhood." They should listen to it. That's the one they really should listen to. And thank you for your support, the fans around the world. I love you with all my heart. I don't take any of it for granted. Any of it. And I love them dearly, all over the world.

(Interview With Ed Bradley On '60 Minutes')

Here are some of MICHAEL JACKSON'S songs that made a difference in this beautiful yet chaotic world of ours...





We may never see him perform live again but his songs will linger on through many generations to come.

How about you, have you thought of doing anything significant with your life? Nothing big is necessary... making someone smile each day is enough.

Here's my share:

a pocketful of sunshine to everyone!!!

Blessings to all,

Image Source: Michael Jackson - King Of Pop from http://tube.hk

Of Dying and Living

For what is it to die

but to stand naked in the wind

and to melt into the sun?



And what is it to cease breathing

but to free the breath

from its restless tides,

that it may rise

and expand and seek God

unencumbered?



Only when you drink

from the river of silence

shall you indeed sing.



And when you have reached

the mountain top,

then you shall begin

to climb.



And when the earth

shall claim your limbs
,
then shall you

truly dance.


From The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

Wishing you all a time of PEACE, REFLECTION
and HAPPINESS this Lenten Season!

Blessings to all,

Praising in Desperation

"When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need."

That is so true. Have you ever hit rock bottom? Have you ever been in a dark abyss? Then you must know what I mean.

At night, when I was all alone and the kids were sleeping, that was when I would cry out to God and bewail my fate.

It came to a point when I thought I was going crazy because I started hearing a voice that whispered to me: "Life is all worthless now that James is gone. Death is the only answer to stop your pain." Believe me, that voice was so real and it haunted me. For many nights, I contemplated on putting an end to my own existence.

Desperate to take hold of my life, I began reading the Bible again and opened a chapter in Psalms. As the voice continued to haunt me each night, the verses seemed to make more sense. An idea suddenly hit me... I started reading out LOUD all the PRAISES from Psalms... much louder than the voice I was hearing. As I uttered each word, I felt a firm resolve embracing me... a strength I never had before.

And then one night, the voice just stopped. Eventually, it gave up altogether.