If God brought you to it,
He will get you through it.

03 July 2009

I Am Scared

"People deal too much with the negative,
with what is wrong.
Why not try and see positive things,
to just touch those things
and make them bloom?
-Thich Nhat Hanh-

It's not easy. Sometimes it also gets dark here. Sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I just can't get out of it.

I fear of...

The future... I can't seem to see myself 5 or 10 years from now. I don't know where I will be. And the feeling that plans don't happen according to my will is pervasive. It never left me. Why can't I just completely "let go and let God?"

The present... Everything about the present scares me. What if I fail my kids? What if I can no longer go on? What if I am still in denial of my life's present circumstances? What if reality is clouded by my own illusions?

I hate it when I am not in control. But all the things that are happening tell me that there is a greater power out there. Sometimes I just have to believe and trust that everything will end well... for the good of everyone. I should not let "what I cannot do" interfere with "what I can do."

Writing about this helps. In fact, I feel much better now that I have defined what bothers me. I know where these anxieties are coming from. The sun has not stopped shining though. I just have to embrace its warmth again.

a pocketful of sunshine to everyone!!!

Blessings to all,

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Gina Alfani July 4, 2009 at 1:16 AM  

Hello Bing ((((HUGS)))) I am all too familiar with that dark place. Sometimes we have to go there to ponder our place in this big scary world . . . it is safer than the unknown.

Ask God to renew your spirit and give you the guidance you need to find your way out of the darkness . . . don't be afraid to follow.

I recently decided to put all my faith in God, asked for that guidance and he led me to what can possibly be the happiest time of my life with a wonderful man who seems to be so perfect for me.

You'll be in my prayers sweetie . . . Gina

PinkLady July 4, 2009 at 6:00 PM  

GINA, you are so sweet. yes, these are fleeting moments of darkness. i don't want to stay long in this place. like you, i have put everything in God's hands.

i am so glad to know that you finally found a wonderful man. you deserve to be happy again, GINA.

thank you for the prayers. i really need them right now.


Bing =)

KAT July 4, 2009 at 8:37 PM  

Only by facing the dark, do you ever get to the light...or the sunshine!! :)

Just remember, fears are normal, and you are a strong woman who has withstood so much already, you can do this!!

Take care,

PinkLady July 4, 2009 at 8:59 PM  

KAT, i am soooooooo happy to hear from you. i hope you are enjoying your vacation. yes, i can do this KAT. thanks for continuing to believe in me.

miss you! =)

tikno July 4, 2009 at 11:10 PM  

Keep walking, because there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Love the quote above.

PinkLady July 5, 2009 at 11:44 AM  

hi TIKNO, thanks for the encouraging words. don't worry, this is just a phase. i no longer stay long in the dark. by acknowledging and defining the fears, i have prepared myself to move on again.

Marites July 5, 2009 at 2:45 PM  

There's always something to be happy and grateful about..just focus on them and you'll be fine. have a good weekend!

PinkLady July 5, 2009 at 10:08 PM  

MARITES, thanks for the reminder. yes, life is beautiful and there is always something good around us to be grateful about. in fact, there are so many of them. i'm feeling much better now actually.

globalwarming July 5, 2009 at 11:06 PM  

good and nice post for you friend!!!

PinkLady July 6, 2009 at 3:09 PM  

thanks GLOBAL WARMING...=)

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you decide to see beyond the imperfections.

"Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward to the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage and confidence." ~ Og Mandino

If I could wish for my life to be perfect, it would be tempting, but I would have to decline, for life would no longer teach me anything.
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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11-14
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