Of Second Chances and Seizing The Moment

The moment I saw this wall sign, I knew I had to post it here. It caught my eye because it accurately describes what is going on in my life right now.

Not everyone gets a second chance. There are some who are lucky enough to get second chances in life but they either refuse to acknowledge it or fail to seize the special moment out of FEAR.

I chose to seize mine.

Like so many, I put my life on hold for so long out of fear of all the uncertainties. The "status quo" became my comfort zone and I refused to venture out of it. I avoided stirring up conflict that would "rock the boat", so to speak. I tried to please everyone to deserve my stay in what I considered a "smooth sailing" life.

But deep inside, I knew I was in the wrong place. My heart yearned for more. It craved for growth. It was hungry for change. It cried out to be finally attended to. So that's exactly what I did.

In July (that heart-wrenching difficult month), I declared that I am leaving my job of 13 years (effective September, that is). Together with that declaration, I severed my affiliation with anyone who could influence my personal decisions as far as "justice for James" is concerned. I declared that I would no longer be afraid of anything or anyone. When I finally met with the Senior Partner of our office last August, I told him that I've kept my silence for 4 years already and it's time for me to make my own decisions without worrying about the repercussion on people I work with. He understood what I meant. I then turned over my duties as Managing Partner and Office Manager, a position I held since 2003 in this 32-year-old prestigious office.

For people who are close to me, they know what other privileges I gave up and the ties I severed with that decision. Was it hard for me? Surprisingly, it came as a relief.

Careerwise, I am starting over again. Things happen for a reason and the new opportunity presented itself to me. I grabbed the chance. It just felt so right.

I can't believe it has been a year now since I started this blog. Also exactly a year ago, the SUN found its way into my life.

To my blog and to my Sun:

The Sun shone oh-so-brightly again in my life these past two weeks. I wish I can share that happiness with everyone. If only I can give a piece of my heart to each of you...

Blessings to all,

Top Ten EC Droppers for September

Many thanks to my Entrecard friends who consistently dropped by during my absence. You are simply the best!

All Stace, All the Time
Rambling stuff
Lazy Bear Blogs
I am Harriet
Flash2nd
Random Ramblings
Candles Crafts and Whatnot
Bambi's Thoughts
My Christian Diary
Empty Streets 1027

Blessings to all ,

In Memory of James and The Thousands of People Who Lost their Lives 8 Years Ago

James would have turned 44 today. My kids lit a candle and offered their prayers for him early this morning. It's good to know that after 4 years, they still remember his birthday. It's also good to know that I sense no pain in them anymore. Maybe they still miss him but this tragedy has not derailed their lives. As I said before, there are no longer "what if's" and "what-would-have-been". My children are moving towards the future and have not looked back for a long time. We talk of "tomorrow" now and it warms my heart to know that they are looking forward to all the challenges and changes ahead of us.

Also on this day 8 years ago, thousands of people lost their lives in several acts of senseless violence in the US. These people left behind thousands of grieving families and friends who, to this day, couldn't make sense of what really happened that day.

Let us all join in prayer as we remember James on his birthday and all the victims of terrorism around the world, particularly those who lost their lives on September 11, 2001. May they all rest in peace!

It's been a year daddy, I really really miss you.
Mommy says you're safe now,
in a beautiful place called heaven.

We had your favorite dinner tonight
I ate it all up...
... Even though I don't like carrots

I learned how to swim this summer
I can even open my eyes
when I'm under water

Can't you see me?

I started Kindergarten this year
I carry around a picture of us in my Blue's Clues Lunch Box

You are the greatest Daddy
I can swing on the swing by myself ...
Even though I miss you pushing me

Can't you see me?

I miss how you used to tickle me
Tickle my belly
My belly hurts

I try not to cry
Mommy says it's okay
I know you don't like it when I cry

Never wanted me to be sad
I try daddy but it hurts

Is it true you're not coming home
Maybe some day
I can visit you in Heaven okay?

It's time for me to go to bed now
I sleep with the light on.
Just in case you come home,
and kiss me good-night.

I love you so much.
I miss you Daddy

Blessings to all,

Mysterious Things and Music Monday (To Where You Are by Josh Groban)

"I have been here since the beginning,
and I shall be until the end of days;
for there is no ending to my existence.
The human soul is but a part of a burning torch
which God separated from Himself at Creation."
~Kahlil Gibran~

"I see dead people..."

This was a line made famous by the character of Haley Joel Osment (Cole Sear) in the movie "The Sixth Sense."

"I see dead people..."

This was also a line I first heard from B when she tried to explain to me her strange behavior as a child. But it didn't stop when she grew up. She said that through the years, she finally realized what this meant-- a "gift" bestowed upon a reluctant recipient. It is a gift that continues to scare the hell out of her to this day. In the past, we would see her break down for no apparent reason at all. She refused to tell us because we wouldn't believe her anyway.

They try to communicate with her. They try to get her attention. But she maintains one rule: she will never attempt to talk to any of them. I asked her why. She said that these beings couldn't keep a secret... once they sense who could see them, they tell the others right away. Hmmmm... I didn't know that gossip goes beyond the realm of the living. This is really

So how was she able to abide by her own rule, I asked. She said she never looked at them. You know, she could see but she wouldn't stare. Although trembling in fear, she would normally ignore the presence.

"Have you seen James?" This was a question I asked her after James went missing.

"No."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"No."

"But this is James, not just any lost soul out there."

"No... I will not break my rule... not even for James. Besides, I have not really seen him so there could be a possibility that he is still alive. Please don't get me wrong. I do love him like a brother." That was me beaten. End of discussion.

A few months after that dialogue, I got a call from B one morning. She was crying.

"Bing, Jimmy is gone."

I was dumbfounded. I was speechless. Somehow I knew what she was about to tell me.

"He came to me last night as I was sleeping. Our room was dark but there was suddenly a bright light. I thought my husband woke up and turned on the light. I sat up and there he was at the foot of our bed... just smiling at me. That scared me to death so I hid under the sheets. I was trembling and crying as I begged him to leave. I promised him I will tell you. Then he was gone."

He did not say a word. He just smiled at her.

By the time she finished telling me what happened, we were both crying and sobbing on the phone.

All I could muster to say then was "thank you, B."

She went on to assure me that this was the first time she saw a bright light accompanying a "spirit." Whatever that meant, I guess it was supposed to make me feel better.

TO WHERE YOU ARE
By: Josh Groban

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be (?)
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

For When I Am Weak, Then I Am Strong

• When I Asked God for Strength
  He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face

• When I asked God for intelligence
  He Gave Me Puzzles to Solve.

• When I Asked God for Happiness
  He Showed Me Some Unhappy People

• When I Asked God for Wealth
  He Showed Me How to Work Hard

• When I Asked God for Favors
  He Showed Me Opportunities to Work Hard

• When I Asked God for Peace
  He Showed Me How to Help Others

• God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted
  He Gave Me Everything I Needed

(quotes from Swami Vivekananda)

Blessings to all,

Photo credit: Leo Viloria