If God brought you to it,
He will get you through it.

02 October 2010

When It Rains...

you are special to me
a friend more than a daughter
the best one could ever hope for
you are brighter than any star in the sky
every time you flash a smile
and when your burdens get too heavy
always remember that i am here for you
not just as your mom 
but as your best friend as well
© Bing (PinkLady) 2010

There's a monster in my family. It has surreptitiously crept into our genes and has now hit my teenage princess.

Last Tuesday, my daughter Jazzy and I went for a walk. Since she usually runs or jogs instead of walking with me, I got the chance to look at her from afar.

"Oh dear, I have to do something about her posture," I remember telling myself. And when I finally caught up with her, I told her how bad her posture was and how I hated it. She just smiled at me and promised to be more conscious about it next time. The same promise she gives me every time I tell her "don't slouch!" or "stand up straight!" or "watch your posture!"

We all know how teenagers hate to be criticized. So I tried to make it up to her and passed on my treasure chest- classic blouses and cool shorts I was hoping to fit into again when I go back to my old form (I have given up on that now). As she was excitedly trying them on, that was when I saw it... a deformed spine.

Why did I not see it before? Was I so blind? Or have I just lived in denial?  The bad posture... I understand now... I wanted to take back all the scolding I gave her. It was not her fault. In fact, I am blaming myself now for not paying attention.

Scoliosis is the medical term for curvature of the spine. Genetics are believed to play a role and my daughter's condition appears to be congenital. The fact that I myself (as well as my mom's sister and her daughter) suffer from mild scoliosis (non-progressive 20 degrees thoracic curve) should have put me on "red alert" with my daughters as it is more often diagnosed in female members of the family (which I learned only now).

Last Thursday, I brought her to two doctors- a rehab medicine specialist and an orthopedic surgeon who specializes in spine surgery.

X-ray of a person with thoracic dextroscoliosis and lumbar levoscoliosis

The diagnosis: not just single but DOUBLE curve- thoracic (upper spine) curve of 40 degrees and lumbar (lower spine) curve of 60 degrees. For someone her age, progression is 5 degrees per year.

The recommendation: immediate spinal surgery that could last for 10 hours or more. And we are talking here of my 14 year old princess.

Oh nooooooo, not my princess!

Image from Photobucket

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Jingle October 3, 2010 at 8:52 AM  

wow, what a magical transformation...
love your work.

Anonymous October 3, 2010 at 3:16 PM  

Damn Bing...I should have warned you also, if you remove Disqus you loose your comments so you have to copy and paste them back in :) And I'm sure you saw my comment about them on FB. If there server goes down yes you can't comment and no one else can either. If they do maintenance same thing. It's like that with all comment systems. Think WP LOL :)

Anonymous October 3, 2010 at 3:17 PM  

My host is cheap and he's a good guy. If you want I can talk to him...No pressure whatsoever but the freedom you get with WP is excellent. :) And Bert is the Bomb!!!

Bing (PinkLady) October 3, 2010 at 5:07 PM  

good that i saw these comments of yours before i closed down disqus. yikes i will have to copy and paste them in blogger?

don't worry thom, i will stay with blogger. i tried to explore wordpress and it was too complicated (again) for me. daunting! thank you so much for the warning and suggestions. big help!!!

Bing (PinkLady) October 3, 2010 at 5:11 PM  

I'm taking down Disqus and will go back to Blogger commenting system.
The following are the Disqus comments that got affected.

From Thom [Moderator] 1 day ago

I'm so sorry to hear about this Bing. I send you and your daughter and family all thevaloha and sunshine I can. But now here goes. This you have to look on the bright side and know that this surgery will be for the greater good. And if your daughter has 1/2 the strength and courage her mother does she will come through this with flying colors. It isn't going to be easy I'm sure but the benefits to me sure do out weigh the negatives. All will be well in the long run and so worth the work, time and effort she is, and you and the family, are going to put into it. She's young so she should recoup quickly. I can't believe you tried to bribe her ROFLMAO!!! So parental. LOL PS lemme know how you like this Disqus comment system. I despised it. Slowed my blog way down.

Bing (PinkLady) October 3, 2010 at 5:13 PM  

From Disqus

PinkLady [Moderator] 22 hours ago

thom, i have not accepted or considered the surgical solution yet. aside from the fact that i cannot afford it right now, we all know how dangerous that kind of surgery is. one wrong move and... i don't even want to think about it. i may appear strong but not when it comes to my kids. i am exploring other possibilities like the use of braces to stop progression of the deformity and physical therapy. maybe pilates will help. when i feel much better (maybe next week), i will talk to the rehab doctor again and ask her about this. i am definitely not going to talk to the surgeon again (or not just yet). see, i'm still in denial.

when i first tried disqus at the sheepish blog, i didn't like it. it seemed too complicated for me. but i'm starting to appreciate it now. what i wanted was an application where i could post a reply below each comment to make it more personal.

if the system gives you a hard time to comment, please let me know. i will take it down and go back to the default application.

thanks for being so supportive, thom. {{{hugsss}}}

Bing (PinkLady) October 3, 2010 at 5:14 PM  

From Disqus

Thom [Moderator] 18 hours ago in reply to PinkLady

Damn iPad...I did my whole comment and couldn't remember my open ID and i lost the comment LOL Such is life.

Anyway, I didn't mean by any stretch of the imagination to minimalize the surgery at all. Yes it is very dangerous and most likely going to be one of the toughest decisions in your whole life that you have to make. I do think that there are other possibilities that can help but I don't think they work like surgery does. When I had problems with my shoulder, I went through tons of physical therapy with it to no avail. Surgery was the only way to correct the problem. But at least I tried everything before taking the plunge with that. To this day I'm not a big advocate on PT. :) Knowing you, you'll research this to the very core and I know your decision will be based on all the facts. I think talking to the rehab doctor is great but I also think you need to talk to the surgeon again. No one can force you into a decision your not comfortable with. And I say denial be damed. Remember, the glass is half full :)

As for Disqus. It is a very good comment system. When I installed it people complained it slowed down my blog. It was also something new for them to get use to. People don't much appreciate change either. LOL They get in ruts and like their rut the way it is. LOL So just watch that and see what your other commentors have to say. It does indeed do what you want it to do but I have one word for ya: WordPress :) xoxoxo

Bing (PinkLady) October 3, 2010 at 5:15 PM  

From Disqus

PinkLady [Moderator] 5 hours ago in reply to Thom

jaz is only 14 so i'm hoping that her growing bones will still allow correction through braces and exercise. ok, i'm not going to totally write it off the list but since this is not really life-threatening, i think we have time to try the other options first. thanks for the enlightenment. i agree, the glass is half full. there is a solution to the problem. ;)

i think i understand now what you're saying about disqus. it takes minutes for the system to load. one comment (jingle's) was even entered in blogger and now it doesn't show here. i refreshed this page so many times before disqus finally showed the thread. aaaaaarrrrggghhh! lol!

Bing (PinkLady) October 3, 2010 at 5:15 PM  

From Disqus

PinkLady [Moderator] 4 hours ago in reply to Thom
ah yes, WordPress... is it easy to move my blog to wordpress or do i have to start all over again?

Bing (PinkLady) October 3, 2010 at 5:16 PM  

From Disqus

Amanda77 [Moderator] 12 hours ago

My dearest Bing, I am so sorry to read about this, after all that you have been going through and now this...I also would look at every avenue first before the surgery is an option. I share you feeling so much, my daughter is my friend too and there is nothing in this world I would not do for her. You are a strong woman and with love and support, you both wll get through this. I am praying for you and your family, you're in my heart always. All the best my dearest Bing!! Give her an extra hug from me all the way from Australia!! Hugsssssss xoxoxoxox

Bing (PinkLady) October 3, 2010 at 5:16 PM  

PinkLady [Moderator] 4 hours ago in reply to Amanda77

mandy, jazzy says thanks for the extra hug. she is ok now and back to her old bubbly self. she is a lot stronger than i thought. i feel so blessed and so proud to have her as my daughter.we appreciate your prayers and your kind words. thank you so much, mandy. {{{hugsss}}}

Bing (PinkLady) October 3, 2010 at 5:17 PM  

From Disqus

Sherrym2 [Moderator] 17 hours ago

Oh, Bing, this is really terrible news. One would think your family has already gone through more than your share, but some of us seem to get extra helpings. I am so sorry. BUT remember that your strength and love are what will get her through this. Thank God she will have you by her side. Both of you will get through it and your bond will grow even closer. Tell her - and yourself - we will do this one day at a time. That is my mantra. It does help. Keep letting us know what is happening and how you both are doing, okay? Nothing is as hard as watching our children suffer. But she will be all right in the long run and so will you. You both have great hearts, and love will see you through.

Bing (PinkLady) October 3, 2010 at 5:18 PM  

From Disqus

PinkLady [Moderator] 5 hours ago in reply to Sherrym2

sherry, there is nothing that God won't allow us to get through. i know in my heart that this was given to me because He knows i can handle this. faith helped us before. it will help us again... and again... and again. these kids have grown stronger because of everything that we all went through. together, we will walk past this problem as we always do. but being the mom that i am, i couldn't help freaking out upon hearing jazzy's diagnosis. i can easily handle anything but this one needed some processing. my heart and brain went into automatic shut off mode. :D

yes sherry, it's going to be one day at a time from now on. thanks so much for your concern and the nice words of encouragement. i really appreciate it. {{{hugsss}}}

JamieDedes October 6, 2010 at 3:09 PM  

Oh, Bing. Not good news about your daughter. Keeping you both in my heart and prayers.

Hang tough.

Bing (PinkLady) October 7, 2010 at 6:21 AM  

jamie, thanks so much. your prayers would be a big help. :)

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you decide to see beyond the imperfections.

"Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward to the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage and confidence." ~ Og Mandino

If I could wish for my life to be perfect, it would be tempting, but I would have to decline, for life would no longer teach me anything.
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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11-14
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