Am I Being Selfish?

They call it "hazards of the trade." I guess with the kind of work that I do, there is no way I can please everyone. I have to take sides. I have to protect one and risk infuriating the other. I'm the type who goes for a win-win arrangement. Unfortunately, when greed enters the picture, that's when trouble sets in.

First time something like this happened, my Dad uncovered the death threat and James never left my side after learning about it. I went on to win that case.

About five or six weeks ago, I got a similar threat on my phone. It did not really sink in right away. "You dare to scare me??? That is so funny because nobody and nothing can ever scare me now!" I just laughed it off.

Then one day... Wham! I was taking pleasure from watching my kids' big smiles on their faces when, suddenly, I realized I am all that they have now.

One good friend, who dared to call me selfish after I ignored the threat, is right. I am being selfish. I live only for today. I am fatalistic. I no longer worry about tomorrow. What is the use of planning when nothing seems to happen according to my plans anyway.

But my kids' future depends on me. They have no choice-- I am all they have. I have no right to take unnecessary risks. I owe it to my kids to see them through until they can get on their feet and stand on their own. I am not in any way going to disappoint them. After all, there is a good reason why I am left to raise them on my own. They mean the world to me. I am not going to allow anyone to hurt them again.

Such is life. Nobody said it would be easy.


Blessings to all,