Daddy's Little Girl... Still

My Dad's stroke in 2007 left him half-paralyzed and it was really a miracle how he got to talk and walk again although with some difficulty. He still refuses to use a wheelchair until now.

He looked frail yesterday when my kids and I went to visit him and my Mom for our Father's Day celebration. He was doing his usual walking exercises when we got there but as soon as he sat down to talk to me, that's when I noticed the unsightly edema on his lower right leg. He said it felt heavy but managed to give me a warm smile as if assuring me that it was going to be alright. He said he has meds to take care of the excess water in his body. He admitted that his creatinine is still high but, as if it would make any difference at all, he reassured me that it is much lower than before.

That's when he turned the tables on me. At first, he asked about the condition of his friend's daughter (who happens to be my friend) who is presently in the ICU recuperating from a stroke and a major brain surgery. Then he went in for the kill... Have I checked my cholesterol and sugar levels lately? Did I get that complete blood work-up already? Did I go back for the ECG? Do I monitor my blood pressure? Blah... blah... blah... Of course, all my answers were in the negative. What followed was a long litany of why I should take care of myself. Hesitantly, I ended up promising him I will get all those tests soon and inform him of the results.

Sometimes he forgets that his daughter is over 40 now. Much to my amusement, he occasionally gets into this kind of mood and talks to me like he's talking to one of his grandchildren. Honestly, I do love these small talks with him. We don't get to do this often anymore because he gets tired easily now.

I really miss those times when we could talk for hours over a bottle of brandy or a few rounds of beers. I remember it clearly-- I would get us our glasses, open a bottle, start a boring conversation about politics and keep him company as he gets busy preparing our dinner (you see, cooking was his passion)... and he would know I needed someone to talk to.

There was so much laughter back then. And so much tears (over broken friendships and relationships). My siblings and I felt that we could tell him anything. The Christmas and the New Year celebrations with my mom, brother and sister were the best as we would all stay awake drinking (except my Mom), laughing, sharing some little wisdom and teasing each other and, not surprisingly, debating UNTIL SUNRISE! Simply the best drinking buddies you could ever find! Now that li'l bro and li'l sis are miles away from us, I'm sure that our family bonding time in the past is what they miss most too.

MY LITTLE GIRL

By Tim McGraw

Gotta hold on easy as I let you go

Gonna tell you how much I love you

Though you think you already know

I remember I thought you looked like an angel

Wrapped in pink so soft and warm

You've had me wrapped around your finger

Since the day you were born

You beautiful baby from the outside in

Chase your dreams but always know the road

That'll lead you home again

Go on, take on this old world

But to me you know you will always be

My little girl

When you were in trouble that crooked little smile

Would melt my heart of stone

Now look at you I've turned around

And you've almost grown

Sometimes you're asleep I whisper "I love you"

In the moonlight at your door

As I walk away I hear you say

"Daddy, love you more"

You beautiful baby from the outside in

Chase your dreams but always know the road

That'll lead you home again

Go on, take on this old world

But to me you know you will always be

My little girl

Someday, some boy will come

And ask me for your hand

But I won't say yes to him unless I know

He's the half that makes you whole

He has a poet's soul, and the heart of a man's man

I know he'll say that he's in love

But between you and me

He won't be good enough

You beautiful baby from the outside in

Chase your dreams but always know the road

That'll lead you home again

Go on, take on this old world

But to me you know you will always be

My little girl

Photo: My niece and brother-in-law spending quiet time together at a Florida beach... a big thanks to my li'l sis Lourdes for allowing me to use this beautiful photo.

Love Thy Father (and Mother)

Today, my Dad saw my blog for the first time. Sat on his wheelchair (he rarely uses it now but he was really feeling tired tonight), with tears welling up in his eyes, he read the special post I made for him. His voice cracked as he said "it's beautiful.." I don't know if he was referring to the post or the blog site. But then in all of 42 years of my life, there was not one single negative word he said about anything I did. He was and is always there to encourage me.

After his stroke in 2007, we thought we would lose him. But being the epitome of strength and courage that he is, he fought his way out of misery and helped himself to stand up, walk and talk again. His unwavering faith is a continued source of inspiration for me and the rest of our family.

To celebrate Fathers' Day, here is a touching letter which embodies every parent's desire to be loved, understood and cared for by his child when he grows old. We will all grow old someday. Will our kids be there for us the way we were there for them when they were growing up?






Blessings to all,

I Will Always Be Daddy's Little Girl

Papa, I would not have made it through the storm without you.
When my sky was covered in darkness,
you were there as a glint of light
making sure that I found my way.
When I was too scared, you held my hand
and assured me everything would be alright.
From a distance, you proudly watched
as I slowly picked up the broken pieces of my life,
always careful not to interfere,
allowing me to have the space I needed.
You never stopped believing in me
even when I started doubting myself.
You carried me through it all.
And you proved once more
that you are truly my hero.

I guess, in your eyes,
I will always be your little girl
that's why you are always here for me.
Thank you for your unconditional love.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

You're My Hero
by Teresa James

I would ride on your shoulders
And look out on the world
Pretending I was big and tall like you
When you were there to hold me
I never was afraid
You made me feel there's nothing I can't do

If I'd spread my wings to fly
When I was very small
I knew that you'd be standing by
To catch me if I fall

You're my hero
Chasing the monsters from my room
Going on trips around the moon
The one who's always been there faithfully
You're my hero
And 'cause you're my Dad...
I'm twice as blessed and lucky to be me

As I kept on growing
We often disagreed
But you let me find myself in my own way
And it's funny, how just lately
I've come to recognize
How wise you are becoming every day
There's so much you've given me
I hope I've made you proud
You're everything a Dad should be
And it's time to tell you now

You're my hero
You didn't have to say a word
Your love was the message that I heard
Inspiring me to be all I can be
You're my hero
And 'cause you're my Dad...
I'm twice as blessed and lucky to be me