If God brought you to it,
He will get you through it.

26 January 2011

The 6th Year

i leave all pain and tears behind
as i walk towards the rising sun
confidently i take my stride
knowing all is well and fine
lessons learned by heart
regrets, i have none
expect, i'd rather not
with acceptance i shall
embrace life as it is
i am stronger...
i am better...
i am me...

© Bing (PinkLady) 2011
Posted for Poetry Potluck: Rules, Regulations and Laws...

Yesterday marked the 6th year anniversary of James' disappearance. My children and I honored him through a Catholic mass offered in his memory. For the first time since 2005, I did not go through any melancholic episode. Instead, my heart was filled with gratitude for having been part of James' short-lived existence and for my own resilience. I felt the blessedness of life itself as my 3 kids wrapped their arms around me. Tears rolled down my face not because I felt sorry for myself but because I was truly THANKFUL for the way things turned out.

If you have lived, take thankfully the past.
~John Dryden

It has been a long blogging hiatus for me here and  I was pleasantly surprised to read:

Review Tuesdays - OF LIVING AND LOVING

which was  written by esteemed poet Someone is Special at Jingle Poetry. SiS, your kind words really touched my heart and I thank you for that.  In reply to your article, let me quote an old comment I posted here also in reply to a fellow blogger's encouraging words, to  wit:

"I started this blog with the hope of inspiring others and helping them deal with the overwhelming aftermath of a sudden loss or tragedy in the family. I love to write. I went through my grief process by writing in my journal every single emotion that I felt and every single milestone in my journey towards healing. I didn't get here easily, you know. Believe me, I had all kinds of criticisms for staying so long in my grief. But taking my time to heal was all worth it. Grief is a normal and natural response to any loss. Have no fear and let it run free. It is OK not to feel OK. Express it and then release it.
I created this blog to share the light I have seen at the end of the tunnel with everyone who is in the same journey. The comments I have received from all of you validated that I have somehow achieved my purpose."

SiS, although I would have easily chosen pink as my background color because of my pseudonym, I instead opted for red as I felt that, at this stage of my life, this color defines me more now - i.e., intense, fearless, enthusiastic and passionate about life.

I was an accidental, albeit reluctant, poet, mind you. Ji (Jingle, as she is commonly known) was the one  who prodded me to take poetry seriously and join her Thursday Poets' Rally.  For that, I am most grateful to her. . 

I would  also like to thank everyone in Jingle's community who voted for me for The Celebrate Poet of 2010 Award.

Image courtesy: Link

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Mariuca January 26, 2011 at 9:51 PM  

I love this post Bing, ur poem expresses your feelings perfectly, such beautiful words... so glad to know you are doing well and moving on with much grace, big hugs for you and I hope 2011 brings you more love and joy... :):):)

Sumit Sarkar January 26, 2011 at 9:53 PM  

Congratz on receiving the award..
I love you poem..
beautiful feelings :)

Jingle January 26, 2011 at 10:07 PM  

lovely poem,

it shows your confidence.
Thanks for linking to potluck.
you rock.

visit entries near your own is of most help to us...have fun!

Bing (PinkLady) January 26, 2011 at 10:25 PM  

marzie, i am sooooooo happy to see you here again. i'm glad that you like the post. thanks for the well wishes. big hugs back to you. :)

Bing (PinkLady) January 26, 2011 at 10:26 PM  

sumit, thanks for dropping by and appreciating my post. :)

Bing (PinkLady) January 26, 2011 at 10:28 PM  

jingle, you rock! thanks for appreciating my post. i sure will do the rounds tonight and tomorrow. i can't wait to read all those beautiful poems. :)

Kim Nelson January 27, 2011 at 12:00 AM  

Love the perspective, beliefs and wisdom you share in this poem. Really nice read.

Sandee January 27, 2011 at 2:35 AM  

You have gone through so much, but you've survived in a positive way. So many cling to the negative for the rest of their lives. I'm happy to see that you've survived in the positive because you are assuring that your children do too. Excellent.

Have a terrific day Bing. Big hugs. :)

Bing (PinkLady) January 27, 2011 at 6:44 AM  

kim, thanks. i'm glad that you like it. :)

Bing (PinkLady) January 27, 2011 at 6:55 AM  

sandee, when i look back i still can't believe how my kids and i survived that ordeal. the gratitude i felt the other day was simply overwhelming. i know in my heart that everything will be alright.

it's so nice to be writing again. thanks for appreciating it... as always. {{{hugsss}}}

Rosidah Abidin January 27, 2011 at 8:39 AM  

I believe that you are a strong woman, my dear friend. May you be blessed always. This is a beautiful, inspiring post. Hugs and love.

Anonymous January 27, 2011 at 8:44 AM  

I can't begin to imagine not knowing. Glad you are imbued with gratitude. Beautiful attitude.


The Reason You Come January 27, 2011 at 2:27 PM  

I've read your story. You are, indeed, a very strong woman! This poem speaks of how much you are a fighter. I love the image of walking towards the rising sun. And I love your attitude towards life.

Bing (PinkLady) January 27, 2011 at 4:15 PM  

rosidah, i guess this experience made me appreciate life more. when there is nothing else but darkness, we struggle to find the slightest glow. i feel so blessed that i saw a glimmer of hope before darkness totally covered me.

thanks for appreciating my post, friend. :)

Bing (PinkLady) January 27, 2011 at 4:18 PM  

victoria (liv2write2day), there is nothing impossible in this world. a little faith is all we need. thanks for appreciating. :)

Bing (PinkLady) January 27, 2011 at 4:23 PM  

the reason you come, thank you for your nice comment. i really appreciate it. :)

Anonymous January 27, 2011 at 11:32 PM  

You have a strong personality that sees the light even in the depth of darkness. Thanks for sharing your poetic talent and wisdom. :)

Someone Is Special January 28, 2011 at 12:10 AM  

Bing, you wrote few words to touch my heart very deepily.. What a inspiration you are? and what a quote is that..? Thanks, Pleasure is mine.. I had reviewed many blogs but this is one of the sweetest feedback I had ever got.. Thanks a Zillion Bing.. and of course red shows your fearless, enthusiastic life.. You are an awesome Blogger and Human Being, very happy to meet you..

I can't forget Ji, after joining Ji in her Thursday Poets Rally, I saw the change in my blogging life.. Thanks Ji, you are so so so sweet..

Congrats on the award and I love to share this page in FB..

Also Welcome for the challenge, looking forward for a great challenge there..

Someone is Special

Anonymous January 28, 2011 at 4:33 AM  

I am truly sorry about your husband, you are such a strong woman. keep it that way, your children will one day appreciate it! I loved the poem, I loved the dedication and the award is well deserved! Thank you for visiting me. Good luck with everything!

Bing (PinkLady) January 28, 2011 at 12:19 PM  

moonlitpoetic, i did it for my three kids. their love for me saved my life.

thanks for the kind comment. :)

Bing (PinkLady) January 28, 2011 at 12:23 PM  

SiS, i felt honored by the review you wrote. thank you so much for your kind words there. i am looking forward to your february challenge. i may not be able to do it on a daily basis but i sure will join the fun. :)

Bing (PinkLady) January 28, 2011 at 12:23 PM  

scentofmyheart, thanks for your nice comment. i really appreciate it. :)

Anonymous January 28, 2011 at 1:55 PM  

its not easy my friend but i know your walk had been enriching- things happen for a reason and the reason will eventually turn out to be a blessing for those who confront it with grace.. :)

Olivia January 28, 2011 at 4:41 PM  

Bing Dear,
I kind of identify with the words you have put here..
If we are brave enough, we tend to see beyond our losses & strive to absorb the larger perspective & live with lot of admiration for everything that touches us.
You are brave indeed! You turn everything that touches you into something invaluable..
I am so proud to be knowing you..

Hugs n zillion of those

bendedspoon January 28, 2011 at 8:19 PM  

beautiful -- the poem, the poet and the life she creates :)

Bing (PinkLady) January 28, 2011 at 10:34 PM  

fiveloaf, i must say i truly understand now. things do happen for a reason. we just have to believe that we can/will pull through... always. :) thanks for the visit.

Bing (PinkLady) January 28, 2011 at 10:36 PM  

olivia, it is also my pleasure to know you. you write beautiful poems and i always enjoy each visit to your blog. thanks for your nice comment. :)

Bing (PinkLady) January 28, 2011 at 10:37 PM  

bendedspoon, thank you for visiting my blog and for your kind comment. :)

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you decide to see beyond the imperfections.

"Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward to the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage and confidence." ~ Og Mandino

If I could wish for my life to be perfect, it would be tempting, but I would have to decline, for life would no longer teach me anything.
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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11-14
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