News of a sex scandal has rocked this country for over a week now. The scandal arose from the sex videos that were taken by a popular cosmetic surgeon/actor during his sexual trysts with unsuspecting women/girlfriends, some of whom are well known celebrities like him. He admits to owning at least 40 of such videos but claims innocence in distributing and spreading them in the internet and the DVD circuit.
So when you see this kind of controversy every night on primetime tv news, how do you explain it to your pre-teen and teenage kids? Do you tell them to stop watching the news? Or do you awkwardly attempt to explain how the birds and the bees found their way in videos and the news?
We can’t be with our kids all the time. Eventually they will have to face the world on their own. It’s not easy to let go but if we have armed them with the right ammunition to fight their future battles, we can sit back later and trust their judgment.
This scandal gave me the best opportunity to discuss with my girls about the most dreaded topic for parents, that is, sex.
In a country like ours that is ruled by old beliefs and traditional values, sex before marriage is totally unacceptable. NOT that it’s not happening here. We just don’t talk about it. Having come from a more open-minded generation, I am quite aware of what reality is.
I gave a long lecture on finishing their studies first to broaden their options. Along the way, they would be able to define the kind of man that they would want to spend the rest of their lives with. The higher they go, the higher their standards would be. But they will lose this chance if they trust the wrong person early on. By “trusting”, I meant having a boyfriend. Lol! Now isn’t that a subtle way of brainwashing?
As I always tell them, they can do something really stupid only once and that can ruin their lives forever. That includes putting their trust on the wrong person. In this world of technology, a simple kiss taken on video could mean the end of one’s future, career, relationship or marriage.
That also includes the wrong choice of friends. Friends can either make or break them. Friends can also lead them to drugs. See, isn’t that a convenient segue? That’s hitting two birds- sex and drugs- with one stone.
It’s still a long road ahead of me. After becoming a single parent, I have learned to discuss the most sensitive topics with my kids like I’m talking about the latest craze in town. I am left with no choice. If I talk in riddles, how would it get the message across? I do hope that this opportunity has not been wasted. But it will take years for me to know how they will fight their personal battles. I just hope that when that time comes, they are already fully armed with the life lessons I have instilled in them.
Blessings to all,