If God brought you to it,
He will get you through it.

01 December 2008

A Child's Grief

My 14-year-old son left me a YouTube link last night in my yahoo messenger. He insisted that I open it right away. As I watched the video, it dawned on me why Laurence wanted me to see it. It speaks of their own grief when he and his sisters lost their dad almost 4 years ago... the kind of sorrow that everyone took for granted because we all thought they were just kids and didn't know any better.

This video was made for the 9/11 victims. Indeed, it was a sudden and tragic loss for most families whose father, mother, husband, wife, son, daughter, brother, sister or friend had perished in that terror attack. Until now, it escapes me how some men can be so cruel as to include innocent people in their rage.

The tragedy happened on September 11, 2001, the same day that James celebrated his 36th birthday. And since 2005, my family has joined the world in remembering September 11 and celebrating the lives of very special people we have lost.

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UmmeAaiman December 2, 2008 at 11:14 PM  

Nice signature.


We always seem to think that kids wouldn't know grief or that if we try and protect our kids from pain or loss, they'll be shielded from it and be able to recover sooner.
We're wrong, isn't it?

PinkLady December 2, 2008 at 11:43 PM  

thanks. you know i learned it from you. again, thank you so much.

PinkLady December 2, 2008 at 11:50 PM  

i encouraged my kids to talk about their feelings on losing their dad. at first, they kept it to themselves. eventually, they have learned to open up. we continue to talk about James until now. this time though, they roll in laughter as they recall how their dad displayed his crazy antics or chased them around the house to give them the big tickle. it's really nice to see how emotionally strong they have grown to be. i am so proud of them.

Carol December 3, 2008 at 4:13 AM  

I am SO sorry for your loss. This is a touching post. You should be very very proud of your children!! xoxox

bohamiksu December 3, 2008 at 2:51 PM  

So Sorry too, But I hope you always success :)

PinkLady December 3, 2008 at 7:21 PM  

don't worry, we have moved on. that's the reason why i can write now about what we went through almost 4 years ago. counting every little blessing has helped a lot in our long and painful journey towards healing.

UmmeAaiman December 4, 2008 at 5:01 PM  

You dealt with it so well!! Its much better to remember them by the nicer things they did for us.. it really helps in the healing process...

bingkee December 4, 2008 at 10:30 PM  

I also experienced grief together with my younger brothers and sister when we lost our father 18 years ago. Although the youngest can't remember coz she was 7 then , my 10 year old (then) bro of mine have a hard time dealing with the loss.

PinkLady December 5, 2008 at 5:17 PM  

James and I had 22 years together- 11 of it as a married couple. Our kids were just 5, 8 and 10 when we lost him. There were too many good memories for all of us. Yes, the same memories that we go back to now whenever we miss him. These kids have had their moments- each of them found their own hiding places at home and in school whenever they needed to be alone to cry their hearts out. I have so much gratitude in my heart to see how strong they have all become. We have all learned to forgive. :)

Dolly's Diary December 6, 2008 at 2:51 AM  

Thank you for sharing this very touching video. It is important to acknowledge their pain.
Janet :)

Jen December 6, 2008 at 1:36 PM  

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine. Blessings.

PinkLady December 7, 2008 at 3:04 AM  

We all want to protect and shield our children from any kind of pain. But there are things that are beyond our control. Whenever something like this happens, we can't do anything else but to sit back and see how we have done so far in raising them and trust that we have imparted to them all the tools they need in facing life's challenges. Let go and let God...

Tripti December 19, 2008 at 8:52 PM  

Hi there, I too lost my hubby on june 26th 2008 , in a tragic airforce plane crash. just now saw the video ,I have a 5 year old boy with me, just learnt that kids are very strong.

Take care

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you decide to see beyond the imperfections.

"Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward to the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage and confidence." ~ Og Mandino

If I could wish for my life to be perfect, it would be tempting, but I would have to decline, for life would no longer teach me anything.
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