When The Truth Takes Its Time... Two Decades Later

Philip Lam, as mentioned above, was the companion of James Yap that evening of January 24, 2005. They are still missing up to this day.

At timestamp 28:57 to 30:05, Philip Lam and the circumstances of his disappearance were mentioned by self-confessed hitman Arturo Lascanias, a retired police officer of the Davao City Police Office. Again, James Yap was with Philip Lam at the time of the abduction and they were never seen again.

My Journey Through Injustice and Unfolding Answers After 20 Years

Almost twenty years have passed, and I can still feel the ache of that day as if it were yesterday. I lost my husband, not to a natural tragedy or a known fate, but to a quiet, haunting injustice. For two decades, I have carried questions and an emptiness in my heart that words barely convey. The absence of answers felt like a void, a missing piece of the puzzle that not only changed my life but also left an open wound that time alone couldn’t heal.

When he first disappeared, there was confusion, fear, and an unshakable hope that somehow, we’d find him. I held on, thinking that the truth would emerge quickly, that this was just a terrible mistake that would soon be corrected. But days turned to months, months to years, and silence followed every question. The world around me seemed to move on, but I remained, suspended in a state of waiting, clinging to whatever fragments of faith I could muster.

The world doesn’t wait for your pain. Bills need to be paid, responsibilities mount, and life insists on carrying forward, even if your heart feels stuck in place. I’ve had to rebuild, to find strength not only for myself but for those who rely on me. Yet every step I took was shadowed by an incomplete truth, a feeling that I was living in someone else’s story—one in which the ending remained hidden, a chapter unjustly ripped away.

Every memory, every memento, felt like a question that could not be answered. And while I tried to piece together what might have happened, the absence of facts left me caught between memories and doubts, hope and despair.

Now, after almost twenty years, bits and pieces are beginning to surface. I’m learning more about the circumstances surrounding his disappearance, the details that were hidden, whether through oversight or deliberate choices. As these facts start to unfold, it’s a painful process, as if each new detail reopens the wound, forcing me to reprocess the loss and the betrayal of trust I had in the institutions meant to protect us.

There is anger, of course. Anger at a system that failed, anger at those who might have held answers all along. But beyond that, there is a profound sadness. I’ve come to realize that while the truth is finally starting to emerge, it can never give back the years that were lost or replace the moments I needed him most.

Living through this has taught me a resilience I didn’t know I possessed. I have learned to carry the weight of unknowing, to find strength in my own heart, even when answers were elusive. As much as the truth unfolding is a relief, it also brings a fresh wave of grief and a reminder of what might have been if justice had been swift.

I’ve learned that sometimes, all we can do is keep walking forward, to trust that even if the answers are late, they will come. It is not the journey I would have chosen, but it has made me who I am. And if there’s any comfort, it’s in knowing that while he may be gone, his story isn’t over.

For anyone else waiting for answers, for those carrying unresolved pain: I see you, I understand you. It’s a hard road, and while no words can erase the loss or the injustice, I hope you find strength in knowing that even though justice may be slow, truth has a way of finding its way to the surface. Hold on to hope, even if it feels distant; there is a unique power in patience, a kind of strength in refusing to let go of the quest for answers.

As these truths continue to emerge, I know that this journey will continue to change me. And as I step forward, I carry his memory, knowing that while the truth took time, his story will always endure.

A pocketful of sunshine and 

Related post:

https://pinklady-bing.blogspot.com/2008/10/we-were-not-ready-to-say-goodbye.html?m=1