A panic attack doesn’t choose a time or place. It just happens. For over a year, I went through that.
I would wake up in the middle of the night and realize “HE IS GONE!!!” Panic would grip me...And then it would paralyze me... 1 second or 5 minutes… It didn’t really matter at all. I simply stopped functioning. It felt like I also died.
But believe me, this wasn’t just a nocturnal occurrence. Imagine it gripping at your core during the day while you are pretending to function as normally as you could in front of everybody. You give them a blank stare and they wonder if you have lost your mind.
And I shouldn’t fail to mention the flashbacks… Oh my God, they surely stopped me in my tracks. Every day I relived the experience of losing him. One moment I was doing okay, the next I was on tears. It was so hard just to get through the day. I was desperate to have my life back the way it was before.
Oh yes, I’ve seen these manifestations in the past. These were from hapless rape victims who couldn’t begin to describe the nightmares and helplessness that followed their ordeal. Psychiatrists labeled them as post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which I even used several times to prove my point in court. Some old stuff from the medical books which I could use as evidence, I should say.
But PTSD is all too real. I should have realized that sooner. Then I would have shown more compassion… perhaps more empathy towards these victims.
So if you have a friend who is going through a difficult period in his life right now, never underestimate the pain and anxieties he is experiencing. You don’t have to say a word. A touch of his hand or a hug could make a big difference. It did to me.
I would wake up in the middle of the night and realize “HE IS GONE!!!” Panic would grip me...And then it would paralyze me... 1 second or 5 minutes… It didn’t really matter at all. I simply stopped functioning. It felt like I also died.
But believe me, this wasn’t just a nocturnal occurrence. Imagine it gripping at your core during the day while you are pretending to function as normally as you could in front of everybody. You give them a blank stare and they wonder if you have lost your mind.
And I shouldn’t fail to mention the flashbacks… Oh my God, they surely stopped me in my tracks. Every day I relived the experience of losing him. One moment I was doing okay, the next I was on tears. It was so hard just to get through the day. I was desperate to have my life back the way it was before.
Oh yes, I’ve seen these manifestations in the past. These were from hapless rape victims who couldn’t begin to describe the nightmares and helplessness that followed their ordeal. Psychiatrists labeled them as post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which I even used several times to prove my point in court. Some old stuff from the medical books which I could use as evidence, I should say.
But PTSD is all too real. I should have realized that sooner. Then I would have shown more compassion… perhaps more empathy towards these victims.
So if you have a friend who is going through a difficult period in his life right now, never underestimate the pain and anxieties he is experiencing. You don’t have to say a word. A touch of his hand or a hug could make a big difference. It did to me.
2 Corinthians 4:1-18 (New International Version)
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2 Corinthians 4
Treasures in Jars of Clay
1Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 2Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. 3And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"[a]made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
13It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."[b]With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, 14because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Thank you for reminding me of God's great mercy. This verse inspired me to write my next post and I appropriately used "Let Light Shine Out of Darkness..." as its title. Again, thank you so much for your continued support.
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