If God brought you to it,
He will get you through it.

23 August 2009

Butterfly Thoughts in Paradise

"Out of your vulnerabilities
will come your strength."

~Sigmund Freud~

A black butterfly flutters around me as I write this post. I feel a presence... a haunting presence. But it does not hurt anymore. I can only look back with a smile. It was a life well lived, albeit shortly shared. It deserves a celebration, not an extended lamentation.

The sound of my children's laughter echoes in my ears. They are back from island hopping with their cousins. I hope they will never forget the man whose shortly lived existence showed them what unconditional love really meant... the man whose unabashed display of childish banters made them giggle to tears.

As we take this weekend break with family (James' brothers and their own families), there is no more "what if Dad was here with us?" We no longer feel guilty enjoying life's and nature's bountiful blessings without him.

But as my youngest daughter sees the butterfly, she matter-of-factly states what she thought is obvious: "Dad is here with us." Her face brightens up with the sweetest smile I have ever seen... then she leaves me again to join her siblings and cousins.

Now whenever they look at his photo, they see the smile that used to define his face. In their hearts, the word "Dad" has taken a new form ~~ an angel mltan100.blogspot.com watching over them every step of the way.

My children have finally moved on.

Weekend in Paradise...

the Parola Wharf/Bar where guests are welcomed
upon arrival and the resort's infinity pool

The Mandaya Houses are laid out on their own beach front,
setting it on a different pace from the rest of the main island.

Mandaya House No. 20... my room, sweet room

pool and jacuzzi right in front of my room

a jacuzzi treat for the kids

kids took a dip at the nearby Malipano Island

Malipano Island's own stretch of white sand beach

a pocketful of sunshine to everyone!!!

Blessings to all,

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Anonymous August 25, 2009 at 1:55 AM  

I was at a loss when I started reading this and then had to go and read the story. My gosh Bing I never knew. How awful that must have been. You are truly an amazing woman to have endured this and be the strong woman you are for your children. My hats off to you and I will always think of this when I see a butterfly. Much aloha and sunshine sent to you :)

Ajinkya August 25, 2009 at 2:43 AM  

Very fine flow of words really touches you deep!
As I write this comment, I see a quote of Swami Vivekananda who is my idol too. It is 12:11 am from where I write and you have already made my day. Lovely write up..gives me inspiration. As Thom aptly said, I will too always remember this post when i see a butterfly next time.

"Never lose faith in yourself, you can do anything in this universe. Never weaken, all power is yours" - Swami Vivekananda


Shinade aka Jackie August 25, 2009 at 5:55 AM  

I just took a picture of a black winged butterfly a couple of weeks ago. But, it didn't turn out well.

I had to chase him all over. Now I too shall also always think of you when I see butterflies.

I did not know this either Bing. I knew you were a very very special lady.

But, now I am truly and completely amazed. I am at a loss for words I have been touched so very deeply.

I am glad for your children. Yet it still has to be so very very hard for all of you.

I am so glad you are firmly planted in your faith. For as your quote says..."if He brings you to it...He will see you through it."

What a glorious example you are of this truth!!

Love you bunches Bing and I am so grateful to call you friend!

You are a blessing to each and everyone of us!!

PinkLady August 26, 2009 at 6:48 AM  

THOM thanks for reading our story. it took me a long time to fully heal but it was worth taking my time to do so. believe me, these kids never fail to amaze me. i see no trace of bitterness in them despite the tragic end of their dad. God has always been good to us.

PinkLady August 26, 2009 at 6:56 AM  

AJINKYA Swami Vivekananda was a great teacher. his teachings are a great source of inspiration for me. i love that quote you just cited and i must find a place for it on my sidebar.

thank you so much for appreciating my post. blessings to you!

PinkLady August 26, 2009 at 7:03 AM  

JACKIE there was a time when each morning was a struggle for me. there was a time when i prayed to God to take me too because the pain was too much to bear. when there was nothing else i could do, i just prayed and prayed ... and praised. i praised in desperation. all of that paid off. in the end, when you have nothing else left except God, that's when you realize He is all you need.

i am also blessed to have found friends like you in the blogosphere. this blog has helped me a lot in my journey.

thank you for your kind words, Jackie. i will forever be grateful for your friendship.

God bless!

Sandee August 27, 2009 at 7:50 AM  

What a beautiful post Bing. I'm sure your little one is right, that daddy is now an angel that shall forever protect his loved ones. How beautiful honey.

Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)

Tripti August 28, 2009 at 12:56 AM  


KAT September 1, 2009 at 9:04 AM  


Again you amaze me with your writing and your courage. I also will think of you and James whenever I see a black butterfly.

I just want to hug you tight!! I wish we lived closer!!

You are very precious to me and I don't want you to ever forget it!!

Love you,
Miss you,
Kat :)

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you decide to see beyond the imperfections.

"Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward to the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage and confidence." ~ Og Mandino

If I could wish for my life to be perfect, it would be tempting, but I would have to decline, for life would no longer teach me anything.
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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11-14
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